Big Sister Alice

So, as you might have guessed already, Alice is my firstborn. She was born Tuesday, December 20, 2005. Seeing as she was a driving force in the discussion of adding to the family, I figured I should share how she has been adjusting.

Alice has been nothing short of wonderful since day one. She is very helpful. Sometimes she is a little too helpful, but she's only 4, so honestly, I have completely lucked out. (Yes, I know she is almost 5, but I refuse to admit it until it happens!)

Alice is also very proud of her younger sister. Pointing out that Jane is getting big. She is also proud of all we let her do in helping with Jane. Alice is allowed to hold her whenever she wants. She also helps with diapering Jane - she puts clean liners into the G Diapers.

For Mike and I, we really couldn't ask for a better helper than Alice. That's not to say it's all rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes when she believes she is being helpful, it is actually completely counter-productive. Like when I am trying to settle Jane down and talking calmly, she'll come along in her loudest, most high-pitched voice and startle her.

I find that the hardest thing so far is having enough patience to not yell at Alice. Mike and I don't like to yell. We don't accept her yelling at us, so she shouldn't be forced to have us yell at her. I knew patience was going to be hard, and I have lost it several times...and have felt horrible afterward...but it is getting much better now.

Mike and I are realizing that Alice really is doing everything with the best of intentions. She often forgets to get herself dressed and ready for things that have to be done because she is so intent on helping with Jane. And while it is hard to remain calm when constantly running late for things, we are getting better.

Alice has had some minor regressions and tantrums on house rules, and while we deal with them a bit harsher than we used to, when her time out and tears are done, we remind her that the rules haven't changed because she has a new sister. She usually only makes the regression once.

We are also trying to get her to articulate her feelings, which she does quite well. If she feels left out of a baby activity, we welcome her to tell us. If it is something she can help with, we often sigh and fight the natural annoyance that does wash over an over-tired parents and let her help. If it is something she can't help with, we explain to her why she can't, but offer something else.

When we offer something else, Alice will often burst out into tears or get angry. Unfortunately that usually wears on our last nerve and we raise our voice but, like I said, we are getting better at it - and she is getting much better at taking 'no' for an answer.

But apart from the troubles, Alice is an amazing big sister. She loves to show off her little sister. Sometimes she insists on pointing out that she is the big sister, or that she has gotten more smiles than me (something we have since told her to stop counting) but really, that's just a child being a child.

I was worried that once Jane got here, Alice would be disenchanted, but luckily it has not happened. Alice is an amazingly bright little girl with wisdom and compassion beyond her years. I wish I was the same type of big sister she is already proving to be.